My Sleepless Night

Gumpy was always a sound sleeper.  This is not to say that he was not vocal, he would carry on entire conversations in his sleep.  It was fascinating to know he would talk half the night and not remember any of it in the morning.

Then cancer attacked his body.  The chemotherapy and radiation treatments left his body so frail that a slight bump would cause an enormous bruise.  His balance was almost gone and we were all afraid that he would break a hip trying to get to the restroom in the middle of the night.  We tried hiring home aids that would assist him in the middle of the night but he was usually sneaky enough to bypass them.

One night he decided to climb over Ema to avoid the aid, which I believe was the beginning of the end for the home aid idea.  Ema began devising her own systems for monitoring him.  When he'd let her, she would keep a hand on his night shirt or keep her hand on him until he got too hot.  All of this meant that she did not get much sleep.

That July 4th holiday, I decided to go up to the farm for a few days and try to give Ema some relief.  It was decided that I would bunk with Gumpy and Ema would try sleeping on the couch.  This way, he wouldn't confuse me for a home aid and wouldn't try to avoid me while giving Ema a few hours of uninterrupted sleep.  After a lot of coaching from Ema, she felt I was ready for the job.

I couldn't sleep.  I was nervous that I would miss something, so I couldn't get relaxed.  Every time he'd flinch, I would be wide awake.  Then he started chatting.  Mostly incoherent but certainly amusing to him.  We did get up a few times that night and he told me how naughty I was for not letting him go to the restroom by himself.  At least that was amusing, he was use to my help getting in and out of the restroom during the day.  In fact, we would chat while he was there.

By the time Gumpy woke up for the day, I was ready for bed.  I had managed to give Ema a bit of a break and Gumpy didn't fall or hurt himself that night.  I was exhausted physically and mentally.  As Ema made him breakfast, I fell on the couch and slept for several hours.

Those were the times I found myself understanding what being married should be about.  Ema went through the same routine with him every night with no nap in the morning.  She stubbornly would not allow for much help with him because she wanted to make sure everything was done right for my grandfather.  No matter how tired or frustrated, she kept soldiering on.  She loved him enough to sacrifice herself to help him without an expectation of return.

I thought about this when I couldn't sleep tonight because my other Grandma, Grandma Lingholm (Winnie) just passed away.  At her funeral yesterday, I couldn't help but think that my aunt Anita and cousin Susan sacrificed in the same way to make sure Grandma's last days were full of love.  I am thankful for many things, but today I can't stop thinking about how thankful I am to have so many examples of sacrificing for your family.  I have the right teachers in my life and I will continue to learn all I can.