He really had a gift for saying the right thing to comfort me at the right time. He could always separate me from my actions, letting me know that I was valuable as a person even if he hated what I had just done. I know my grandfather always loved me and would do whatever he could to protect me.
I lost my compass the day he died. I have figured out how to handle the day to day without him, now its the big things that trip me up. Gumpy isn't here to tell me I will be fine. He isn't here to tell me a bad joke to take my mind off my problems. He isn't here to tell me that he loves me and that he knows I am a strong enough man to make it through. I know that for myself now, I didn't for a long time. It's his voice I miss now.
He use to be a phone call or a drive away. Now I rely on my memories and hope he's still proud of me.
(By the way, everything will be fine. Today not being able to talk with him really stung.)