Someone Who Believed In Me

I really miss Gumpy.  Life sometimes throat punches me, and he was always great at helping me pick myself up off the mat.  While my family and friends love me, their words of comfort are different.  I appreciate them, I welcome them, I need them but they are not from Gumpy.  It is not that their efforts are good or bad, its just that it isn't Gumpy saying it.

He really had a gift for saying the right thing to comfort me at the right time.  He could always separate me from my actions, letting me know that I was valuable as a person even if he hated what I had just done.  I know my grandfather always loved me and would do whatever he could to protect me.  

I lost my compass the day he died.  I have figured out how to handle the day to day without him, now its the big things that trip me up.  Gumpy isn't here to tell me I will be fine.  He isn't here to tell me a bad joke to take my mind off my problems.  He isn't here to tell me that he loves me and that he knows I am a strong enough man to make it through.  I know that for myself now, I didn't for a long time.  It's his voice I miss now.

He use to be a phone call or a drive away.  Now I rely on my memories and hope he's still proud of me. 

(By the way, everything will be fine.  Today not being able to talk with him really stung.)