A Man Worthy of Adoration

When Gumpy decided I needed his help, I think his intention was to help me learn how to enjoy life again. As a toddler, I was the type of kid who would walk up to strangers at the Big Boy Resturant and tell them I was shy before asking if I could have a bite to eat. This mortified my mother because I was quick and effective with this little trick. So while I was busy becoming a sullen teenager, Gumpy was busy trying to help me remember how to enjoy life again.

He didn't have a plan. Few things were taught with specific intent. Lessons were learned mostly through my observation. Becoming a distracting backseat driver is the perfect example. So is becoming a man worthy of the adoration of his wife and family.

I recently realized just how much I learned from Gumpy in this part of my life. I was slow to realize his influence on me as a husband for a number of reasons. Part of it was my grandparent's penchant for bickering. They both loved it, regardless of their denial. We use to joke that you could make a killing sell tickets to the Dot and Elb show. What I did not realize for years is that they always made up. Always. And the plain truth is that I was not ready to become this type of husband until I met Gladys.

Ema and Gumpy also spoke with one voice with big family issues. We all knew that Gumpy was the softy, but when the chips were down my grandparents responded together. Sometimes this became annoying, like when Ema would say, "We love you." I just wanted to hear she say that she loved me but they both took the commitment to speak with one voice seriously.

My grandparents were also really affectionate toward each other. Gumpy regularly chased Ema around the house until his heart was too weak to continue. He had his pet names for her. He enjoyed teasing her and she enjoyed being teased. He enjoyed buying her gifts and surprising her. When he knew his cancer would take his life, he focused all of his strength on making sure Ema would be well cared for.

Gumpy prized loyalty and it started with my grandmother. In private conversations, there were occationally complaints although I really cannot point to one in particular. If anything, he was concerned that she was not taking care of herself and wanted his little Chickadee to be a happy, healthy person.

Was Gumpy a perfect person?  No.  He had his foibles and I picked up a few of them.  Was he perfect for me when I needed him to be?  Absolutely.  He was loving, caring, patient, truthful and trusting.  A guy could not ask for a more loyal friend.  He was one of my role models while struggling through college.  He is one of my role models as a married man.  I know he will continue to be a role model when I'm a dad too.