Family Names

Nicknames are a staple in my family. Gumpy seemed to have one for all of us and he had several himself. I will do my best to recount them all, with the stories behind the names I remember.

Elbert. The man himself had many nicknames; including Charlie Tuna, Bird Legs, Slender Pins and Gumpy. Bird Legs and Slender Pins came from his legs. He had a healthy gut perched a top two of the skinniest legs you can imagine, which he loved to show off all summer with his golf shorts.

Dorothy. My grandmother became known as Ema because that is what I called her when I was first learning to speak. Gumpy liked to call her Shapely, which she absolutely hated.

Me. After the best buddy contract, I was Best Buddy and Number One Farm Hand. After my cousin Scott was born; I was promoted to Best Buddy, Number One Farm Hand and General Manager East. After my cousins Adam and Logan were born; I was promoted to Best Buddy, Number One Farm Hand and Vice President of Outside Affairs. Fortunately, this was always shortened to Best Buddy.

Aunt Mary. My Uncle Jim and my mother hung Mary with the nickname of Moose after watching a Listerine commercial. The nickname Moose stuck so well that I howled with laughter when I learned that Moose's name was really Mary. It sounded so plain. Gumpy also liked to call her Pootsie, which harkened back to a nickname my mother hung her with, Pootsie Wootsie Kawkawie of New Jersey Girl. He was the only one who could get away with Pootsie on a regular basis.

Mary's best friend Sarah. Sarah spent enough time with the family that she just became Aunt Sarah, but Gumpy liked to call her Twigs because her maiden name is Terwilliger. Nothing like brevity.

Rebekah. My sister is like Chuck Norris when it comes to nicknames. A nickname looks at her and runs the other way. She really despises being called anything other than Rebekah. Adam, Logan and Gumpy are the only three that have ever been given permission to hang a new moniker on her. Adam and Logan call her Bukah. Gumpy would call her Smoochie.

Vernal. Gumpy's brother was renamed Uncle Friday at some point. I am fuzzy on why we all called him Uncle Friday.

Onalie. I never met Aunt Onie but I know Gumpy use to call her Tizzy Lish. In fact, all of the women in the family were called Tizzy Lish by Gumpy at some point.

Roz. My mother was called Billy Burb occasionally. I have no idea why, but I am quite sure I will find out as soon as she gets over the embarrassment of having her nickname on my blog!

I have noticed my tendancy to assign nicknames to people. It is certainly a learned behavior!